It's a long one....

It has been a while since I have done a post. I just haven't felt it lately. Nothing much has been going on. I debated a while before even writing this post, but figured, what-the-heck it's my blog and my journal so I'm going to write it.

I have felt so down, and out of it lately. With Tanner being the only one home during the day, my day is well...boring. I don't DO much of anything. Sure, I do the basics, laundry, straighten the house, feed both of us lunch and breakfast. I take care of the basics of tending to the other kids. My house stays fairly clean...but I have several hours of nothing time. There are SO many things I SHOULD be doing, but don't have the drive in the least.

Then I hear ALL the time about how busy so many moms are, and I would start to feel guilty. What am I doing wrong? Why aren't I running around like a chicken with it's head cut off and non stop busy? So the guilt builds and then I give up and just don't do anything because I figure why try.

I thought maybe winter blues...but um...what winter? Finally I had a wake up call. I woke up the other morning and thought NO MORE! I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of feeling like I have no purpose and no energy. So I am taking control! I'm GOING to do productive things with my time. I am going to have a positive attitude with my callings.

I have put my self on a schedule. I have certain time to do things and I still leave myself down time. No more just sitting in the house all day. I am going for walks, not more just wishing I could do a project, I am going to find a project to do. (Dreams of refinished dressers dance in my head). I AM going to come up with creative ways to help my kids in school. I AM going to spend a few mins every morning to do some spiritual studying. These things need to happen. I DO have a purpose!

One thing that has kept me steadily going is school. I am, well I'm not sure what semester I'm on. 3 I think? The classes sort of all blend together. I take one class at a time, and two classes a semester. Each class is 5 1/2 weeks.

I debating on posting some of my projects because they are slightly laughable. But I have made progress, considering I didn't draw AT ALL before I started school. So here is a little of my work:

From my perspectives class:

From my basic drawing class: I couldn't use a ruler hence the few not-so-straight lines.
From my fundamentals of design class: I had to show some form of symmetry. This is called Formal Symmetry...just in case you were wondering.

From my basic drawing class again.

Each of my classes has pushed me farther and farther out of my comfort zone. But I am loving it. It takes a lot of work and makes me think. I am glad for school. I still feel like it was a good decision.

So I am off to conquer another day! I am going to make it worth while....no really my list is huge today with a HUGE birthday party for Todd coming up and Tanner's birthday tomorrow. Busy busy!