That's right, I've decided to go back to school. I am pretty excited. I have a lot of time on my hands. I know I have 5 kids, and a lot of days I feel guilty I have time. I see SO many moms so busy! I have time's of the day I'm busy for sure! Oh-say between 4:00 and 8:30 it's nuts around the house. Homework, chores, dinner, scout, sports etc. I don't think I'm an exception to any rule that way. But during the day (at least Aug. -May) I've got 6 hours that aren't so busy.
Next year 4 out of 5 will be in school full time. 1 will be at home with me. I clean, I cook, I craft, I do hair..I do all the things I guess I should be expected to do. But I still have time. I did a blog post about my time and what I need to be doing with it. And after some thought and prayer I've decided school is a good option for me at this point.
I will most likely do only part-time, and try to work things around the time when kids are in school. My family and my children come first. Always. But with raising 5 crazy kids, and being a wife of a pilot (who is gone 3-5 days out of the week) I feel like I need ME time. I'm not trying to be selfish. But I have been pregnant and raising kids since before I was married. With this time that I have now, school feels right.
I have 2 appointments tomorrow. 1 is with a UT Dallas, another with the Art Institute. I am debating between 2, seemingly, opposite things. Interior Design and Psychology. Told you. Not really related. But I have a BIG interest in both! Ever since I can remember I have asked my mom for paint samples to paint my room, fabric for a comforter, new pictures to hang on the wall. That hasn't changed much. My favorite things (besides kids and their related items) in the house are my book shelf that have decorated, my kitchen table I refinished and the list goes on. On the other hand. Being a teen mom and dealing with the things I have, I never really felt like the type of help I wanted/needed wasn't really there. I would love to work with trouble teens, or pregnant teen moms, who either place OR keep their babies. I would love to give them the counseling and help they need and want.
hmmm.....decisions, decisions. The down side to the latter is YEARS of schooling! I'm not sure I am ready to take on 6-8 years of school. However, is Interior Design more of a hobby rather than a career choice? I say career choice, but is it really? I always figured my "career" is raising my children. I don't think that will ever change, but can I balance that with something else that I love to do? Which ever area I decide to go into, I will always be a mother first. I will work around their schedules and life. They are my life. But school will be good for me.
A big part of me wants to establish a name for myself. I went from being Carol and Don's daughter (something I never minded) to Todd's wife, and TC, Titus, Tate, Tobyn and Tanner's mom (again something I don't mind!) But I never spent anytime being Connie. I didn't understand how important that part of life is when I was younger, but I see it now. I want to be good at something. I want to be something when my beautiful children are grown and out of the house. It has been something that has been nagging at me for quite some time.
I kind of feel like I'm defending myself. I'm not. I'm just putting my thoughts and feelings out there. Sorting out all that is going on in this head of mine. I don't know if I'll ever get it straight, but I maybe talking about my options with someone tomorrow will help.
So here I go! Jumping head first...have I ever done it any other way?!
5 comments:
School...shudder! You amaze me! I totally know what you mean about "being Connie". I went through that and am still going through it. Some people, mainly men, just don't get it. Isn't being a mom enough?? ummm...no. My name is not 'mom' it is 'Julie'. We are individuals and I think it's wonderful that you want to be more amazing at something else. The kids are going to all be gone and grown some day and if we don't improve ourselves individually now, then our lives will be empty later.
It's early & I think I lost all my brain cells at the gym...probably not making a lot of sense! I'm proud of you! Good luck...I think interior design sounds SO FUN! Someday school won't be so horrible sounding to me!
If it makes any difference I've always thought of you as Connie...and not anything else! ;) Good luck with your decision... I HATE making decisions...from big life ones right down to what side dish to make with dinner.
I've always thought of you as Connie too, but it's important that you see that as well:) I loved this post...and totally relate. It's kind of in the back of my mind also as far as what I want to do when the kids are older. I'm happy for you that you've decided what you want to do about it! I'm sure you'll do great!
Do it!!! School gives me something I can strive for, to make myself proud. Yes, changing diapers and getting the laundry done does make me proud. But not in the same way. You'll be so happy you did! As far as which way to take it, do what you love. Don't focus too much on a career. As long as you are happy, it will be the right choice for you.
Best of luck making your decision. I don't think interior design seems like a hobby--I think it's tough. I took one class at BYU for "fun" and it ended up being pretty intense. Very interesting, but a lot of work too. Psychology would be great too. I'm sure you'll choose the best thing for you.
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