I feel like not only am I in a new state, but entering a new stage of life. I have 3 in full time school. Tobyn will be full time next year (TX does full time kindergarden) and my youngest will be 3 in a couple of days. I am no longer in the "baby making" stage. I have passed the "small baby taking all my time, sleep, energy, and trying to just stay on top of things" to the child-raising stage. It is strange. I am not pregnant or nursing. Tanner goes to nursery and feeds himself. It leaves me with 2 hands to get things done during the day and most days the energy to get it done. Which is both nice and a little scary.
I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what to do with my time. I think that will be my new year resolution. T I M E. I think I need to focus on What I am doing with my time.
Am I spending my time studying the scriptures daily?
Am I taking time to help those around me?
Am I using my time to teach the little ones?
Am I using time once a week to plan a FHE lesson?
The other part of that is that I would like to spend time to educate, expand, and discover who I am. For 10 years, my entire married life, I have spent caring for small children. I went from being Don and Carols daughter to Todd's wife to The Christensen Boys Mom, all wonderful titles that I cherish and love. I am honored to have each of those titles, but it leaves me thinking "Who am I?" Where does Connie Christensen, daughter, wife, mother, fit into the world. What can I do with my Time? I have more "Time" in some ways, than I did 2 years ago. I want to make a difference and find things that I enjoy. I want to do all the things I have listed above with my time as well as take a little time to discover my self.
Please don't get me wrong. I LOVE what I have become, what I have been, but I would like to keep discovering what I can do. I love my children, my husband, and all of my family and in no way trying to down play that important part of my life. My children will continue to take most of my time, and I enjoy that. I just want to take the time this year to look at my self. Take the time to stretch my self spiritually. To adjust and work on the new phases of my life that I am entering.
ps. I'll be honest. I'm a little disappointed not many have commented on my earlier post (see last post) You don't HAVE to repost the topic you can just comment to get something fun from me! (But only if you want...no pressure ;-) )
5 comments:
I understand completely how you feel. I went through that and still do. I love who I am but I need to be Shandail. I needed to find myself. Then I can be a better mother and wife and friend. There is nothing wrong in finding yourself. Good luck. I learned that exercising helps me more than anything. you know that too because of how much you have worked out. I have also been getting up a little earlier than my kids and reading my scriptures. It is sooooo nice. the house is quiet and it is my time. Plus I am starting the day out good.
That would be a very different time of life. And I think you have good ideas of what to do with your new-found time. It's interesting how our lives seem to be ever-changing. I guess that's good, but can also be challenging. And by the way, I miss having you for my visiting teacher too!
I totally feel you on this subject. (even though I'm not a wife or mother yet.) I want to find who I am and have been wanting to for a year, just haven't done it yet. I know you can do it, Connie. You are an awesome woman! Good luck... keep us all posted on how you do!
Ahhhhh you mean I'll actually get through this baby stage???? And eventually I'll have time again? Phew!!! I'm so glad! Good luck on your goals... it will awesome to spend some time for you!
I'm sure you'll do wonderful things with the next stage in your life. Isn't it amazing how fast they grow? I can't believe I have five in school.
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